womans speech

This is the response that I received from some of the women reading the speech… I attached what you did before and the topics that are now listed for this speech. Also this speech has to be around 4 minutes. Can you change the paper to fit one of the topics?

You have lots of facts and also quotes included, but think it would be better if you were able to personalize your speech more.

Think sentence with ‘No Higher Honor” should be better worded to get point across.

You should probably update part about number of women in Congress.

Check on words typed (ie 1st paragraph 4th line from bottom “dipper”? and last page, middle of page, before “Hillary”— no “man” has ever been president) for what you mean to read/say.

Conclusion should be more positive instead of “tear each other down” and “have lost out to men”. Could probably put a period after “struggle.” then delete the next sentence and go onto “It is time… ” followed by (for example) :” Through education and support for one another, women, can have their voices count.”

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